Why women have extramarital affairs?
Speak about a loaded subject that no one wants to chat about, that’s it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on from ancient times. Extramarital relationships can be filled with troubles, cause sadness, and other problems. Also you should wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness issue, funds, age dissimilarity, faith education, guilt, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I should define an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, date married woman.
Why do people have affairs? There are as many answers as there are people seeking affairs. I am sure generally though it is only the human state, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
Naturally we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and exciting, and sex makes us escape the real world for a small period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people are able to turn the wish on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another person, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos culture has erected against affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will beat their doubts and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but society also. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, maybe some of us are. Sex is horribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not wound your relatives or anybody else? You will need to minimize the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the major grouping, colossal in fact. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they feel comfy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to look after. Your funds are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them implementing the sex operation, at least not with their othere half. An marital affair sometimes solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage whole.
Avoidance, sorrowfully this is a common reason I fear. One or the other, as a rule the gentleman is sexually neglecting his female for a number of reasons. As a male I actually am grateful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them accessible to us men of romance, making them “hot milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, maybe compassion is vanished, maybe it is the closeness, could be neglect. Could be we have simply grown apart, our relulas concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is diverce of what you want. Maybe I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they search for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for financial gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.